I’m a firm believer that mother’s set the tone for home life. And how we present ourselves directly impacts our attitude towards homemaking. It impacts our health and well being, as well of those who see us on a daily basis. So how do we add in self care for busy moms?
We are role models for our children, our spouses, those who we surround ourselves with. But, also for ourselves.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”? I have strived to live by this rule almost from the beginning of my career life.
I remember very vividly, one time while I was still entry level in my HR career, we had a visit from a new in position district manager. Our current manager began with introductions of the executive staff. I was still not a manager at the time, but I made a great first impression. This was because I dressed for the job I wanted. From there, she gave me many opportunities for projects which led to advancement within my career.
We only have one chance to make a first impression, I believe in going above and beyond to look presentable.
And even so with my role as a wife and mother. I want to always look presentable for my spouse, my children, and especially for myself.
The Need For Self Care
As wives and mothers, we are pulled in a million different directions. It’s easy to lose ourselves and that time we once took on our own self care when we began to have children. I’ve had my share of frumpy days, baby blues, and a slight depression after having children.
There’s no shame in any of this. We go through a lot when we have children. Our hormones take over and everything becomes wonky. But it’s also important to get back to ourselves and make the time to care for ourselves in order to care for our families. And this process is different for each person. Sometimes we can get there on our own, and sometimes it takes some help from a medical professional.
When we are pulled in so many different directions, it’s easy to throw on some stretchy pants and over sized tees. Our own self care is sacrificed and the needs of others are placed above ours.
Eventually, we stop bothering with our appearance. Because, who’s gonna see us all day besides our littles? But we are role models for our families. And how we present ourselves, will also determine how we are treated.
How to Add Self Care into Busy Routines
Oh boy. This took me a few years to figure out a good system. And even so, it still evolves or needs updating on occasion. We all have different situations and circumstances, these are just a few things that work for me and my crazy busy routine.
First off, I read “A Mother’s Rule of Life”, I put together a rule and had a major declutter session. In our home, we are constantly striving for a simple life and often re-evaulate what we own and declutter again.
I try to follow regular routines, and I follow time blocking, especially during the really busy seasons.
Also, I created a capsule wardrobe, which has cut down on a lot of time and energy. I’m a lover of vintage, modest clothing and old Hollywood glamour. So, I created my capsule wardrobe based off of my preferred fashions. And guess whats not in there, stretchy pants and baggy tees! I’m not tempted to fall into a frumpy rut with my clothing because I don’t have them to rely on.
Instead, I have pieces that I love and make me happy.
My morning routine is very simple. I wake up, say my morning prayers and then start a pot of coffee. While it’s brewing, I start my skincare routine, which is less than 5 minutes. Then I’ll plug in my hot rollers and grab a cup of coffee. I’ll put my hair up in hot curlers and then work on my makeup routine. This is also very simple and doesn’t take me more than 10 minutes to have my entire face put on.
The time that used to be available for beauty routines, reading, and personal pleasures seem to be swallowed up by unending demands from the family. The hands that daddy loved to touch become the hands that babies love to clutch. It is all too easy for a girl to let these changes serve as an excuse for self-neglect. —John Robert Powers, Secrets of Poise, Personality, and Model Beauty
By this time, all of the kids are starting to wake up and we sit down for breakfast. We get dressed once dad leaves for work and then start the rest of our daily chores and routines.
My evenings are also very simple and I either shower or relax in the tub when the kids are in bed. I use these products because the ingredients are incredible and the makeup lasts all day long!
Why Put Self Care Above Care of Others?
“There are five priorities of the married vocation. First: Prayer, Second: Person, Third: Partner, Fourth: Parent, Fifth: Provider.
“The priest said that every woman called to be a wife and mother has certain obligations that must be fulfilled; true “duties” in that they can’t be ignored nor neglected. They’re not optional for a married woman, regardless of her other involvements…
“The priest explained that these must be ranked according to importance, and that many marriages can get “out of order” when a lesser P is given priority over a higher P.” – A Mother’s Rule of Life
When I think of placing self care next after prayer, I think of it like this. When you’re on an airplane, and the stewardess is going over the safety guidelines. There’s a moment where she explains the need for you to put your oxygen mask on before assisting your child with theirs.
Because what good are you to assist others if you neglect yourself?
And so, in life, what good are we in teaching our family about self care and hygiene standards if we aren’t following them ourselves?
We are the example and the role models for what we want our children to see.